J.T. is a DC-based Air Force veteran and former Airman of the Year. The grandson of a Vietnam veteran, J.T., conducted operations in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. J.T. is also a proud transgender man. Though given the current political and social climate, J.T. has chosen to give us insight into his military experience and beyond with the agreement that we keep his identity anonymous.
MD: How long have you lived in DC, and were you ever stationed here previously?
JT: I wasn’t ever stationed in DC, but I moved here as a civilian in February of 2023. I wanted to advance in my career, so what better place for a military veteran with government ties?
It seemed like the perfect medium between NYC and Atlanta; not too fast, not too slow. It’s also four hours away from home and was as close as I could get without being too close. There’s enough to do where you can’t get bored, and there’s something for everyone. I’ve really been enjoying myself.
MD: Absolutely. I like to tell people that DC is a mini-New York, but people go to sleep.
JT: That’s the perfect way to describe it.
MD: It looks like you joined the military right as Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was ending, and even though the policy was changing, many of us knew the ideology had not yet shifted. What was your experience being Black and queer while serving on active duty at this time?
JT: I didn’t experience much pushback with being queer. It was more so just being Black, because I was usually the only Black person in that space.
I was stationed at a base in the South in an area that further pushed ideologies of hatred against anyone who wasn’t a White male. I did the best I could to make sure I did what I was supposed to do, but there were a lot of microaggressions.
It wasn’t until I began to transition that I began to receive pushback. People didn’t like it, but because it was 2015, there was also no policy in place for trans individuals.
When I joined the military, to clarify, I identified as a lesbian. When I began to transition while serving, it was still taboo. For the vast majority of people I encountered, especially within my unit, engaging with me was the first time they encountered someone who was transgender.
Image blurred at J.T.'s request.
MD: Wow, being Black in the South, and transitioning — I’m sure that was a whole lot to navigate; not just for you, but also, as you stated earlier, for people who had never encountered someone like you. Some people may be surprised to hear that in 2015, you had more significant challenges with the color of your skin than being queer, because there’s this misconception that once we put on the uniform, we overlook all of that. Yet we KNOW that discrimination and harassment are still rampant within the military.
So as you began transitioning, it sounds like there were logistical challenges. Were there social challenges? Like did members of your unit imply, “We don’t know how to handle this, but you’re still cool?”
JT: It was cool when I was living my life as a lesbian, and probably would’ve been cool had I transitioned prior to joining the military. But because the male and female standards were so different, they didn’t know what to do, absent policy.
Now that you have transitioned physically but not on paper, do you have to follow male dress and physical fitness guidelines or female? What do we call you? Which restroom do you use? Which uniform standard do you follow?
It got really overwhelming, and there were a lot more microaggressions. I also began getting overlooked for opportunities despite already having been awarded Airman of the Year and being excellent in my position. I feel like in today’s climate, it would be a lot worse, but back then, prejudiced people still had shame. Now, they don’t.
Policy was a major challenge, but the logistics…they just didn’t know what to do with me. Instead of trying to figure it out and pushing the powers that be to make a decision, they threw it on the back burner.
MD: Was that deprioritization the reason why you felt done with military service and ready to become a civilian?
JT: Yeah, a part of it, and the unit itself. Toward the end, I was in the Reserve, and going back to being Black in the South, that was a huge issue. For example, where I was — we’ll call it section X — it was all Black people. The other section, which I’ll call section Y, was all White people.
Section Y was able to do certain things and go to certain places that Section X couldn’t. Section X had to do PT, and Section Y didn’t. And when it was brought up, they said, “Because I told you so.” There were no real answers given. We all sit in the same office. You’re just a different “section” than we are, so why aren’t we held to the same rules?
MD: It goes back to how Black people are held to a different, higher standard while White people get a pass for mediocrity. It’s something we’ve seen all throughout history and, unfortunately, are still, of course, experiencing in the present day.
JT. Yes. Absolutely.
MD: Were you getting medical support through the military during your transition, or did you have to go through the civilian sector and pay out of pocket?
JT: I had to pay out of pocket. At that time, even the insurance companies didn’t have policies and procedures in place for trans individuals. Everything I had to do was out of pocket.
When I had my surgery, I had to pay out of pocket. When I needed testosterone, out of pocket. Any therapy, all the name changes, all that stuff was out of pocket.
MD: It sounds like there’s been a lot of sacrifice. There’s the financial sacrifice you just mentioned. There’s the emotional sacrifice of having to do this yo-yo to meet the military standard. And then ultimately, the sacrifice of giving up your military career that you put time, energy, sweat, and tears into.
JT: I was doing double the effort. Using 30 days as a standard month, 28 days out of 30, I’m living my life as a man, but these two days, I have to pretend to be a woman. No. I’m not doing that. It was OK for a short period of time, but then I started to feel out of place. This is when I decided I was done with the military. Sometimes, I think about it, and it’s like, ‘Man, I wish things would’ve been different.’
But I try to look at it as maybe me being ahead of the curve saved me a little bit of heartbreak in the end, because so many service members now are being kicked out for being trans, with significant rank and significant time in service, and that sucks for them.
They gave way more than I did, and now, with the political climate, it’s causing a lot of anguish. I don’t have to deal with that, which I can appreciate, but I also empathize with those people.
MD: It really is devastating to the community overall, the yo-yo specifically, with the members of our trans community and their military service. That’s damaging to someone’s mental health. The government says it wants people to be contributing members of society. They want people to step up and serve because we are an all-volunteer force, and yet they turn around and cut people out because they can’t deal with how this person identifies.
JT: It’s ridiculous because if a person told you they didn’t believe in God, you still serve with them. You’d say, “Hmm, I don’t agree with you,” and you’d keep serving.
That’s the part that’s funny to me. When someone says, “I’m not a Christian, I’m a Muslim,” you’re not going to stop serving with them because they’re not Christian. This is where I think people don’t use common sense, and it ultimately becomes detrimental to our nation as a whole.
MD: It does much more harm than good. Once you transitioned out of the military, and since you came to DC, how has your experience been of building community?
JT: It has been a little bit difficult, overall, for me to engage with queer Black veterans or military members. It's been mostly Black straight veterans or military members. I have met Black queer people just because of the dynamic of DC, but when it comes to veterans, it’s been few and far between.
I met you and I think I’ve met like one other person, but most of the Black people that I meet are not queer and veterans. It’s been interesting.
MD: A bit of a delicate question: Do you think that the reason why the Black veterans you connect with are straight more often than queer is because you are living a more heteronormative lifestyle?
JT: Yes, I think that is the most accurate way to put it. I don’t shy away from going into queer spaces or events, but also, people don’t know [I’m trans]. It becomes a safety issue because being trans brings about a whole set of new issues.
MD: A big missing piece from the idea of inclusion is safety. When you walk into a room and no one looks or seems like you, it’s hard to feel safe.
JT: Members of the queer community always want trans people to step up and be like “Hey, I’m trans!’ But the trans community is small, and there are people within the queer community who discriminate against trans people.
When you talk about safety, that’s a big thing for me and why I’ve decided to live a more heteronormative life. There was so much pushback from the queer community, White men specifically, because I was trans.
MD: People who are Black and queer and not trans also experience this from White men, just in the sense of acceptance. It’s like they say, “you’re not my kind of queer,” and they refuse to accept you, while simultaneously mimicking Black culture. It needs to stop.
In your experience, when it comes to Black veterans in general, what can the District of Columbia do to better support our community?
JT: I think there needs to be space where just Black veterans can connect; young Black veterans under 45. You can go anywhere and find your old heads, your elder veterans, but it’s the younger population of Black veterans who are lacking in community. Let’s bring them together. People who are queer will find one another in these spaces, but maybe we start with all of us.
DC is a good place, because even though the climate is shit right now, I think that people still feel safe enough in the city, in the liberal sense. I also think that’s why the present Administration is bringing in the National Guard, to make it more conservative, but DC is a liberal city.
MD: If you could do it all over again, would you? Why or why not?
JT: I would, but I would do it differently. The reason why is because I like to call myself a trendsetter. I’ve always been ahead of the curve. I say all the time that I was a lesbian before it became popular. That I was trans before it became popular. But this means I’ve always had to deal with a lot of red tape. So, I would’ve transitioned prior to joining the military instead of the opposite.
MD: If you had any advice for Black queer service members or trans veterans, what would it be?
JT: My best advice to give is to trust your gut. You’re going to have to go through some red tape. It’s part of the process, inevitably, and very unfortunate. Just keep pushing to be the person that you believe that you are.
Do your research and find the resources, because they are out there. And if you are thinking of transitioning, now is the time. The climate is still very muddied, but there is still space for you to be who you are and be successful and thrive. Find your community and just know that it’s going to be OK.
This interview was conducted by MaCherie Dunbar, special issue co-editor and guest contributor, an award-winning advocate, and Black queer veteran residing in Washington, D.C. Make sure to read her personal story in this issue.
