As a Black transgender man and veteran, I have faced many battles — both within the military and in my personal life. My journey, like that of many LGBTQIA+ service members and veterans, has been one of resilience, but also one of struggle; especially when it comes to mental health.
My first interaction with the military was based on a lie, and that lie haunted me throughout my entire career. At 17, while at the Military Entrance Processing Station signing paperwork, I encountered a question on my application: "Are you a homosexual?" My answer to that question stayed with me for nearly a quarter of a century as I served in both the Army and the Air Force. That single moment — choosing between honesty and the opportunity to serve — set the stage for years of internal conflict.
Serving during the era of "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" added even more weight to the struggles I endured. The anxiety, the fear of being discovered, the depression — it all compounded into something I didn’t fully understand at the time. The pressure was immense. As a military officer, seeking therapy wasn’t just difficult; it felt impossible. I turned to alcohol, trying to cope with the reality of living a double life. I made it through, but not without scars.
Now, years later, as a transgender veteran, I find myself and so many others who have served our country faced with the possibility of losing gender-affirming care — the very care that has literally saved my life. One cannot even begin to imagine the turmoil of wondering whether our government and healthcare system will fail us once again. What will we do? I don’t have the answer to that question, but I do know what keeps me going, and I’m dedicated to helping other veterans cultivate resilience.
The Reality We Face
The VA has acknowledged that LGBTQIA+ veterans face higher rates of mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, and PTSD — along with higher suicide risk — compared to their non-LGBTQIA+ counterparts. Transgender veterans are particularly vulnerable.
This is no surprise to those of us who have lived it; many of us carry the weight of both military trauma and the additional burden of discrimination, rejection, or erasure in the very institutions meant to serve us.
The stigma surrounding mental health within both military and Black communities only adds to the difficulty of reaching out for help.
One of the greatest barriers to suicide prevention is silence — silence from within the community, silence from healthcare providers, and silence from policymakers.
When I first started my transition after leaving the military, I often felt isolated. There were very few spaces where I could openly discuss both my military experience and my gender identity. I knew firsthand that seeking mental health support could mean facing ignorance, judgment, or even outright discrimination.
But I also learned that speaking up saves lives.
Suicide was not absent from my thoughts as I left the military. It was an incredibly difficult time for me. Thankfully, I had my affirming and always-supportive mother. I was also lucky to have my two beautiful boxers, Duke and Zeus, who have both passed on now. They truly saved my life. Their unconditional love, along with the support of my family, was the anchor I needed to hold onto during my darkest moments.
Dr. Nicholas at the Georgia State Capitol during the Pride to the Capitol event
Breaking the Silence
Through my personal journey and in my advocacy and mentorship work, I have observed the power of storytelling. When veterans break the silence and share their mental health journeys, it gives others permission to do the same. It validates the experiences of those who feel unseen, and it reinforces the reality that healing is possible.
Recognizing the need for safe, affirming spaces, I started a mentorship program and support group specifically for Black transgender men. This group was born out of a deep understanding of the unique challenges faced by Black transgender men, particularly in navigating identity, mental health, post-service life, and career elevation. The group provides a space where we can openly share, heal, and support one another without fear of judgment.
Over the years, I’ve witnessed firsthand the incredible mental health benefits this has brought — not only to those who attend, but to myself as well. Knowing we are not alone, that our experiences are valid, and that we have a community to lean on has been life-changing for so many of us.
Over time, this initiative evolved, and I formed my 501(c)(3), The Global Trans Equity Project (formerly 100 Black Trans Men). My organization recently developed the Trans Veterans Georgia Resource Guide, which officially released on March 1, 2025. Unfortunately, the release came shortly after the suicide of a trans veteran at the Syracuse, New York VA Medical Center. My hope is that the guide’s resources provide a path to accessible care for transgender veterans.
Additionally, we partnered with TBuddy, a peer-to-peer support platform designed for trans masculine individuals. Through this partnership, we expanded TBuddy to also serve trans masculine veterans, providing them with a safe space to simply be — while knowing that help is always available.
TBuddy operates 24/7 in 19 countries and helps thousands of trans masculine individuals. We ensure there is zero cost to the individual for this service. Our goal is to remove as many barriers as possible to accessing support and community. I initiated this partnership with TBuddy because I saw the immense isolation so many of us experience after military service, particularly in navigating identity and mental health challenges.
A Message of Hope
I’ve learned over the years that even in the hardest of times, there are many things that keep me smiling, healthy, and joyful: my dog, Tillie Zaine, my supporting and loving family, attending mental health support groups, and, most of all, meditation. This is what I recommend most for anyone dealing with mental health challenges; I experienced personally how meditation and mindfulness can be transformative for overcoming anxiety, depression, and substance use.
Hope is in the people who stand beside us, in the voices that refuse to be silenced, and in the strength we discover within ourselves. It is in the way we rise, despite everything, and reclaim our right to exist, to thrive, and to be whole.
Resilience is not just surviving — it is transforming. It is using the pain of the past to build something better for the future. It is standing up, speaking out, and ensuring that no LGBTQIA+ veteran has to fight their battles alone.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, reach out. The Veterans Crisis Line is available 24/7 by dialing 988 and pressing 1.
Resources and Action Steps
In closing, here are some concrete steps that LGBTQIA+ veterans (or their allies and mental health professionals) can take to support mental wellbeing and resilience:
- Engage with peer support networks: Finding a community of fellow LGBTQIA+ veterans can provide a sense of belonging and shared understanding that is vital for mental wellness.
- Advocate for culturally competent care: We must push for better training among VA and civilian providers to ensure LGBTQIA+ veterans receive the affirming care they deserve.
- Encourage open dialogue: Destigmatizing conversations about mental health, particularly within communities of color, is critical to increasing help-seeking behaviors.
- Prioritize self-care and mindfulness: Practices like meditation, journaling, and spending time with supportive loved ones can significantly improve mental well-being.
- Know the signs and take action: If a fellow veteran is withdrawing, expressing hopelessness, or showing signs of distress, reach out and encourage them to seek help.
- Utilize supportive resources: Connect with organizations like the Modern Military Association of America, The Trevor Project, the VA’s LGBTQIA+ Veteran Care Coordinators, and The Global Trans Equity Project.
Help is here, you are not alone, and your life matters.
About the author
Dr. Elijah Nicholas
Retired U.S. Air Force Lt. Col. Dr. Elijah Nicholas is a retired military officer, author, and advocate dedicated to LGBTQIA+ health equity, veteran support, and suicide prevention. He serves as the Founder and Executive Director of the Global Trans Equity Project (GTEP), which advances trans-inclusive policies in healthcare, education, and research.
